Thank you to Gretchen Wysocki, from First Baptist Church of LaGrange, OH, for writing today's blog:
It’s been a couple of weeks since my son and daughter and I returned home
from Shepherds Ministries. We
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| First Baptist Church from LaGrange OH |
had
traveled with our church youth group from Ohio to Wisconsin for a week-long
trip to serve alongside Shepherds residents, clients, and staff in the
Shepherds Friend program. We left
expecting to serve and desiring to be a blessing to others. God did, indeed, give us many opportunities
to serve. And, based on the warm
responses of those we worked alongside, I believe He took our efforts and
offerings and used them to bless others – to God be all the glory for
that! But what I didn’t quite expect
(and I love how God works like this) was the extent to which I came away from
the experience feeling like I was the one so enormously
blessed. I didn’t expect that the
interactions and conversations with our friends at Shepherds would be just the
tools God would use to reshape and refine my life. I am not quite the same person having been at
Shepherds, and I am very thankful God is faithful to His Word. (Phil 1:6)
Let me tell you a little about
myself. My name is Gretchen Wysocki. I have been married nearly 19 years to my
husband, Kevin. We have three teenagers
– a son, Nathan, and two daughters, Emme and Maeve. I work part time as a registered nurse.
When the opportunity came up for me
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| Gretchen and her friend, Becky |
to go on our church youth group’s trip to Shepherds, I gladly accepted! I was familiar with Shepherds Ministries and
two of my kids who were old enough to serve at Shepherds were already signed up
to go. I soon found out that we would be
taking part in the Shepherds Friend program.
Shepherds staff prayerfully
considered information I gave them about myself to match me up with my friend
for the week. I was pretty excited when
our youth pastor handed me a sheet of paper with Becky’s photograph and
information about her on it. I learned a
little about her family, things she liked to talk about, and games she liked to
play – all this before even meeting her!
How exciting! Best of all, I
could now start to pray for my friend, Becky, and for the week we would spend
together. My kids, Nathan and Emme,
received a photo and information on their friends, Phil and Summer,
respectively. They were getting excited,
as well. Nathan remarked at how we and our
friends seemed “just perfect” for one another.
What an example of God answering His people’s prayers!
I will never forget the first time I
met Becky. I introduced myself and she
smiled shyly and said, “Hi.” Work was a
little slow in Shepherds Enterprises that first day together. When I asked her what she’d like to do, she
led me into the “break room” to sit down with her. She readily answered my questions but soon
took the lead and initiated conversations on her own. I learned about her roommate, her family, and
she showed me some of her “treasures” she keeps with her during the day. We had moments of comfortable silence, too,
watching the activities and interactions of others around us. We were building a friendship. Later in the afternoon, we got a job working
together in Shepherds Enterprises. Becky
is a hard worker and knows her stuff!
She taught me what to do and soon we were making some real progress with
our assignment. We were a team, and it
felt good to both of us, I believe.
Nathan and Emme were having similar
experiences with their friends. Since
all three of us were assigned to Shepherds Enterprises, we spent most of the day
close by to one another. As a mom, it
was really neat to watch my kids and their friends build their relationships,
too.
It did not take long at all to
notice something about Becky, Phil, Summer and the other residents and clients
we were spending time with. Their
acceptance of us was immediate and unconditional. They didn’t care what we were wearing, what
our hair looked like that day, if we said something awkward or silly, or what
kind of emotional baggage of life we might’ve been carrying. We were loved and accepted. We were friends. We were being loved like Jesus loves. It felt great! And, it was humbling and convicting.
How many times in relationships, new
or old, have I let personal biases, preconceived notions, personal judgments,
or hurt feelings keep me from loving others the way Jesus has called me to love
them? My new friends gave their love
and acceptance freely and without judgment.
It was truly beautiful. God was
already at work through the love of my friends at Shepherds to identify and
chisel away some rough edges in my life.
I came to Shepherds to serve, but my new friends were serving me
with their willingness to set the example of loving like Jesus loves.
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| Summer and her friend, Emme |
We had many chances to get to know
our friends in a variety of settings throughout the week. Shepherds Ministries is a fun and dynamic
place, and there is always something going on it seems! Nathan got to go to a Milwaukee Brewers game
with Phil, and they went to a car show, too.
Emme and I got to have dinner in Lamb Cottage with Summer and
Becky. I have never felt more like an
honored guest in someone’s home than I did when Becky welcomed me into her room
at Lamb. She showed me pictures of her
family, her beads for making necklaces and bracelets, her special dolls and
stuffed animals, and her collection of music tapes. We listened to music together and talked
about our families.
Another afternoon, Nathan, Phil, and
I walked to the Dairy Queen across the street to get ice cream. The road between Shepherds and the DQ was not
particularly busy at the time, but we did have to wait for a car to pass. Just as it passed and we began to take our
first step into the street, I felt Phil’s hand take hold of mine. He held it firmly until we got across the
street when he then released my hand and simply said, “Thank
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| Nathan and his friend, Phil |
you.” This unexpected, simple act warmed my heart,
and I was glad to be able to provide a sense of safety and security to my
friend. However, this was yet another
opportunity God was taking to show me an area of my life that He wanted to
refine in me. Phil didn’t let pride or
fear of what I would think get in the way when he had a need. He didn’t let embarrassment over the fact
that he was unsure or maybe a little fearful over a situation keep him from
literally reaching out for help when he needed it. How many times have I let pride over wanting
to have an I-have-it-all-together appearance keep me from asking for help? God has provided me with some invaluable,
precious, godly friendships in my life.
These are people I know who would be faithful to pray for and encourage me,
speak truth to me, or just provide practical help to me whenever I’d ask. Phil showed me the value of being vulnerable
and how God faithfully places people in our lives to help us, without judgment,
just when we most need it. I came to
serve, but God used Phil to serve me with a really great example of being
vulnerable and trusting.
Our time at Shepherds was filled
with life lessons, opportunities for growth, and special connections made with
our new friends. We ate together at
Shepherds Table, worshiped together during chapel and prayer meeting, played
games, and talked about our lives with each other. I learned I had something I hold very close
to my heart in common with some of my friends at Shepherds, including Becky –
the pain and heartache of losing a parent.
Eighteen months ago, I watched as my mom went home to her Lord and
Savior. She had cancer, and God, in His
mercy and wisdom, healed her in Heaven instead of here on Earth. I miss her every day. Some of my friends at Shepherds know that
kind of loss, too. We were able to share
that with one another. We found comfort together
in the truth that since our moms and dads knew Jesus, they were now in
Heaven. Maybe our parents even knew each
other now! This was just one more
example of God using the residents at Shepherds to serve me, even as I was
there to serve them. God knows our
deepest hurts and needs and is faithful to meet them. I love how He designed the body of Christ to
work! And that’s exactly what we and our
friends at Shepherds who are in Jesus are – the body of Christ!
I won’t deny it – saying goodbye to
Becky, Phil, Summer and the others on the last day was tough! We had formed some meaningful connections
with the people at Shepherds in a short time, and I think most of us just wished
we had a little more time. In addition
to my new friendships, I had some new truths that God was revealing in my
life. I had my eyes and my heart opened
to how I view others, both with and without disabilities, how I view my
relationships, and how I view myself and the ways in which God wants to work in
my life. We hope very much to return to
Shepherds again sooner than later, but the reality of this life is that death
is a part of it. My mom used to say,
“Eternity is just a breath away.” And,
it’s true. Maybe I will get to see all
of my friends at Shepherds again in this life.
I hope so. But, if that is not to
be, I know that for those of us who are in Jesus, we have the absolute
assurance of seeing each other again someday in Heaven.
So, now what? What do I do with all that God taught me
while at Shepherds Ministries? What do I
do with the friendships, experiences, and memories? First and foremost, I strive to honor God
with them. I make it my aim to say “Yes,
Lord” to whatever He’s calling me to do, wherever, whenever, and with
whomever. I look for opportunities to
love others like Jesus has called me to do.
I ask for His help to reject pride and self-centeredness and ask God to
make me humble and amenable. I let God
use the pain in my life to make something beautiful and useful to Him and to
others.
I continue my friendships. In an age of cell phones, texting, tweeting,
and facebooking, letter writing is nearly a lost art. (Do you know some schools
aren’t even teaching cursive writing anymore?!)
My friends at Shepherds love receiving mail. Last week, my kids and I prepared and mailed care
packages and handwritten notes with photos from our time at Shepherds for our
friends. I wish we could’ve seen their
faces when they received them! Summer
beat us to the punch, though. A few days
after returning home, Emme received a letter from Summer, and it absolutely
made her day!
More importantly, I continue to pray
for Becky and the others at Shepherds.
As precious as she and the others have become to me, I know they are
even more precious to their Heavenly Father, in whose image they are made. They are loved perfectly by Him.
As I said above, we do hope to
return to Shepherds – this time to serve as a family. We are prayerfully seeking God’s timing for
that. Nathan, Emme, and I are excited to
return because we’ve experienced the joy of God working in and through the
relationships formed while we were there.
And, my husband, Kevin and youngest daughter, Maeve, can’t help but
anticipate what God may have in store for them at Shepherds because the rest of
us can’t seem to stop talking about it!
To say that being part of the
Shepherds Friend program was a great experience would be a serious
understatement. I don’t think I could
ever sum it up in one descriptive word.
I can say this with certainty though – I wouldn’t trade the time I spent
with Becky and my other friends there for anything. God used the relationships we formed there to
once again, show what a loving, faithful God He is! It is my prayer that our lives will reflect
that.
